Todays Funny

shag766 · shag766

shag766 · shag766

TWO YOUNG BOYS WALKED INTO A DRUG STORE ONE DAY, PICKED OUT ABOX OF TAMPONS AND PROCEEDED TO THE CHECKOUT COUNTER.THE PHARMACIST AT THE COUNTER ASKED THE OLDER BOY, "SON, HOWOLD ARE YOU?""EIGHT", THE BOY REPLIED.THE MAN CONTINUED, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE USED FOR?"THE BOY REPLIED, "NOT EXACTLY...

shag766 · shag766

Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. The family still used an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was so hot in the summer, freezing cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy was determined that one day he would pus...

shag766 · shag766

Little Bruce Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.One day they decide that they want to get married,so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and...

shag766 · shag766

Here is your laugh for the day!! A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. Yo gotta let your rose buds show!' And out s...

shag766 · shag766

Fishing in Ireland The rain was pouring down. There standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water. A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?" "Fishing" replied the old man. Feeling...

shag766 · shag766

MORALS TEST Are you as moral as you think you are? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.Only you w...

shag766 · shag766

58chev · 58chev

shag766 · shag766

A Muslim dies and by some clerical error ends up in heaven. He`s stopped at the Pearly Gates by St-Peter who says sorry, but we don`t allow Muslims into Heaven.What? Replies the Muslim, and why not? Well, we just don`t !! The Muslim complains and carries on until St-Peter gets fed up and says, have you e...

shag766 · shag766

Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him, before I give him my answer. " Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 PM, dre...

GMDad · GMDad

GETTING OLDER A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wo...

GMDad · GMDad

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the He...

GMDad · GMDad

After numerous rounds of, "We don't know if Kim Jong Un is still alive," Kim Jong Un himself decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. The Donald opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 3...

GMDad · GMDad

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?""We're taking Continenta...

shag766 · shag766

7 KINDS OF SEX Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex. The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner...

shag766 · shag766

Today's Chuckle A painter by the name of Murphy, while not abrilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown Malbay, in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses On...

shag766 · shag766

-Maid Wants a Raise The Mexican maid asked the house-wife for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked, "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze. The first is that I iron b...

shag766 · shag766

Taking a wee break from the golf course, golfer Rory McIlroy drove his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station. An attendant greeted him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro was. "Top o' the mornin' to ya!" As Rory got out of the car, two tees fell out of his pocket. "What are those things...

shag766 · shag766

Wife's Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing,...

shag766 · shag766

THE BLACK PANTIES Betty had lost her husband almost four years ago.Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.Finally, Betty said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied,"Mum! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an imm...

shag766 · shag766

APHORISMS An aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner. For example:♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom...

shag766 · shag766

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask." The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors." God says, "Say no more." And in...

shag766 · shag766

Husband: My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home! Sheriff: Height ? Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sheriff: Weight ? Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sheriff: Color of eyes? Husband: Sort of br...

shag766 · shag766

warren this isn't to distract on your original thread "field of dreams" out west in estavan and thank you. if you haven't been out there in various areas you wouldn't know there a still some pockets of these places albeit dwindling in numbers as time goes on. this field of dreams and many other places l...

admin · admin

The best version.. they do it great..

shag766 · shag766

He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. ...

shag766 · shag766

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: "There's a car being tow...

51 Styline · 51 Styline

51 Styline · 51 Styline

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	a falcons nest (Preview)	shag766	0	488	Sep 5, 2018 by shag766
	HE'S MY BROTHER / HUMOUR?-CUTE! (Preview) TWO YOUNG BOYS WALKED INTO A DRUG STORE ONE DAY, PICKED OUT ABOX OF TAMPONS AND PROCEEDED TO THE CHECKOUT COUNTER.THE PHARMACIST AT THE COUNTER ASKED THE OLDER BOY, "SON, HOWOLD ARE YOU?""EIGHT", THE BOY REPLIED.THE MAN CONTINUED, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE USED FOR?"THE BOY REPLIED, "NOT EXACTLY...	shag766	0	528	Aug 30, 2018 by shag766
	the outdoor pooper (Preview) Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. The family still used an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was so hot in the summer, freezing cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy was determined that one day he would pus...	shag766	1	548	Aug 22, 2018 by Junior
	little bruce (Preview) Little Bruce Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.One day they decide that they want to get married,so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and...	shag766	1	501	Aug 17, 2018 by Junior
	Gardening with Grandma (Preview) Here is your laugh for the day!! A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. Yo gotta let your rose buds show!' And out s...	shag766	1	523	Aug 10, 2018 by Junior
	You Gotta Luv The Irish Humor (Preview) Fishing in Ireland The rain was pouring down. There standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water. A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?" "Fishing" replied the old man. Feeling...	shag766	0	574	Aug 9, 2018 by shag766
	MORALS TEST (Preview) MORALS TEST Are you as moral as you think you are? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.Only you w...	shag766	0	519	Jul 27, 2018 by shag766
	A Little Morning Humor (Preview)	shag766	0	482	Jul 24, 2018 by shag766
	Swear Jar (Preview)	58chev	0	600	Jul 17, 2018 by 58chev
	todays funny (Preview) A Muslim dies and by some clerical error ends up in heaven. He`s stopped at the Pearly Gates by St-Peter who says sorry, but we don`t allow Muslims into Heaven.What? Replies the Muslim, and why not? Well, we just don`t !! The Muslim complains and carries on until St-Peter gets fed up and says, have you e...	shag766	2	655	Jul 3, 2018 by red-oak
	Wear a new dress? (Preview) Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him, before I give him my answer. " Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 PM, dre...	shag766	0	466	Jun 20, 2018 by shag766
	Getting Older (Preview) GETTING OLDER A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wo...	GMDad	1	487	Jun 18, 2018 by tc
	Sanity (Preview) Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the He...	GMDad	0	553	Jun 17, 2018 by GMDad
	Coded message (Preview) After numerous rounds of, "We don't know if Kim Jong Un is still alive," Kim Jong Un himself decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. The Donald opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 3...	GMDad	0	538	Jun 17, 2018 by GMDad
	The hairdresser (Preview) A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?""We're taking Continenta...	GMDad	2	634	Jun 16, 2018 by shag766
	back by popular demand-lmao (Preview) 7 KINDS OF SEX Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex. The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner...	shag766	0	412	Jun 16, 2018 by shag766
	murphy the painter (Preview) Today's Chuckle A painter by the name of Murphy, while not abrilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown Malbay, in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses On...	shag766	1	518	Jun 13, 2018 by red-oak
	the maid wants a raise (Preview) -Maid Wants a Raise The Mexican maid asked the house-wife for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked, "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze. The first is that I iron b...	shag766	1	541	May 19, 2018 by 123pugsy
	Irish Humour (Preview) *Taking a wee break from the golf course, golfer Rory McIlroy drove his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.* *An attendant greeted him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro was.* *"Top o' the mornin' to ya!"* *As Rory got out of the car, two tees fell out of his pocket.* *"What are those things...*	shag766	0	517	Apr 30, 2018 by shag766
	Marital Misunderstang (Preview) Wife's Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing,...	shag766	0	523	Apr 23, 2018 by shag766
	morning smile (Preview) THE BLACK PANTIES Betty had lost her husband almost four years ago.Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.Finally, Betty said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied,"Mum! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an imm...	shag766	1	614	Apr 17, 2018 by GMDad
	APHORISMS (Preview) APHORISMS An aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner. For example:♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom...	shag766	1	602	Apr 13, 2018 by Marten
	humour for all the cat lover's (Preview) A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask." The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors." God says, "Say no more." And in...	shag766	0	326	Apr 11, 2018 by shag766
	THE MISSING WIFE (Preview) Husband: My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home! Sheriff: Height ? Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sheriff: Weight ? Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sheriff: Color of eyes? Husband: Sort of br...	shag766	2	386	Apr 10, 2018 by Offset
	FIELD OF DREAMS 2 (Preview) warren this isn't to distract on your original thread "field of dreams" out west in estavan and thank you. if you haven't been out there in various areas you wouldn't know there a still some pockets of these places albeit dwindling in numbers as time goes on. this field of dreams and many other places l...	shag766	21	760	Apr 8, 2018 by Junior
	Who's on first (Preview) The best version.. they do it great..	admin	1	501	Apr 5, 2018 by wuga
	a positive attitude (Preview) He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. ...	shag766	2	446	Apr 4, 2018 by Offset
	afternoon sex (Preview) The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: "There's a car being tow...	shag766	0	555	Mar 31, 2018 by shag766
	Hope this doesnt get me banned. (Preview)	51 Styline	6	634	Mar 28, 2018 by shag766
	Ray and Bob (Preview)	51 Styline	0	647	Mar 27, 2018 by 51 Styline
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