For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great one liners from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope youget a chuckle or two reading them once more.
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas . 3. I take my wife everywhere.... but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.' 8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!' 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?' I said, 'Dust!'
Can't you just hear him say all of this? I love it........these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun And he always ended his programs with the words, 'God Bless’.
That brings back some memories. Thanks for posting. If I remember correctly, he used to do the 'Silent spot' at the end of every show and then the 'God Bless'.
Silent spot, being no vocal/audio. I also remember as an ankle biter my Grammy watching me on Monday nights (prolly so I didn't tear Dad's car down etc),
For some reason I loved a show called the "Pig and Whistle" and Gram would let me watch it.
That brings back some memories. Thanks for posting. If I remember correctly, he used to do the 'Silent spot' at the end of every show and then the 'God Bless'.
Silent spot, being no vocal/audio. I also remember as an ankle biter my Grammy watching me on Monday nights (prolly so I didn't tear Dad's car down etc),
For some reason I loved a show called the "Pig and Whistle" and Gram would let me watch it.
I loved the old days.
2X on that; nothing like the old days.
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Government is a broker in pillage, and every election is sort of an advance auction sale of stolen goods. HL Mencken. 1919.
"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." George Orwell 1984
I have found a few dc's of his I was always told it was his daughter that would not allow releases of his work? he could get a good laff out of his fans and keep it clean is what I liked
