5 Drawer dresser for sale! 

Ikea dresser measuring 48"H, x 19"W x 31"L 

It's in flawless condition, much like its owner. And much like its owner, it has several places to stick things in. 

I used it for socks and underwear, which most times were clean. I've also found it super useful for those times you can't find a babysitter. The 4 draws will fit one child anywhere from 6 months, to 5 years. I've never put younger than 6 months in there because I'm not a monster! 

Now if we're being honest, this thing sells brand new for $120 at Ikea. So I hear you, WTF? I'm not paying $90 dollars for that SH&%! Well let me break that "SH&%" down for you. 

$120 plus tax is $135, so we're already at a savings of $45. 

Were you to go purchase this new, we all know we don't have an Ikea in Barrie, so you'd have to drive there. This isn't fitting in your Kia Rio, so you'll have to either bring the gas guzzling mini van, or borrow your friends truck, both of which are going to easily add $40 in gas, and a 2-4 of beer. The 2-4 is what you'll have to either give your friend for the truck, or for you to drink on the way down to help restore your dignity and numb the pain and embarrassment of being seen in a mini van. 

Now once you get there, you know they have a $1 breakfast right? You ain't gonna pass that SH&$ up! Sure it's a buck, but then you have to add the coffee, the extra plate of homefries (you really should cut back on those), and the cinnamon bun (those things are the bomb!). So that's now an extra $5 you didn't plan on spending X the 3 kids you brought (you must have 3 if you have a mini van) plus your wife who never passes up a chance to go to Ikea (Women? Am I right?). Now we're adding $25 extra dollars. 

We all know that place is a f$&%ing maze!!! So easily on your way to get this dresser that you felt I was ripping you off with, you end up picking up a Hugelfruger, a Domslapper, a Schlinztpopper, and the Dinglehopper, which you’re positive is the hairbrush/fork from the Little Mermaid. That adds $60. Your kids both grab something that you're pretty sure is a pleasure toy, and your wife insists on the Bummelspanker, something you're still confused as to what it actually does, but but she's got a smile on her face! 

You're going to get lost. It happens. You'll lose some children. It happens. Before you know it, you're at the front cash, going through that God awful self checkout (your husband's idea because he's racist and wants to limit verbal contact with all people), you forget to scan an item, and BAM the Ikea alarm goes off. Next thing you know, he's getting a rectal search in that hidden back room behind the customer service counter, you're with the police and kids screaming "I never loved you anyway!" 

So to sum it up. Because you felt $90 was too expensive, you're now getting divorced, which conservatively costs you in the end, around $250,000 plus hearing "I told you so" from your Mom. 

Still think it's too expensive? 

Oh and no, sorry we don't deliver.