my young lad sent me this ditti, lol 48yrs, and when i read it i thought maybe he did catch on as some of these do hit the nail on the head, lol "pay attention kid, this might mean something later" lol
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Subject: Two Truths and 5 Rules of Life
SIMPLE TRUTH 1: Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2: When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats". But, none of them comes up to the man - touches his penis and say, "Good job".
Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:
1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the *******'s name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then neither does milk.
AND HIS PERSONAL FOVORITE'S
5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
BONUS RULE: Condoms do not guarantee safe sex.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
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"if you are not the lead dog, the view is all the same"
People that say money can't buy happiness don't know where to shop.
i believe there is some truth in that. i remember an older jewish gentleman i use to haul meat for around the country, r.i.p. stanley, back in the 70's who had a saying, one of many i might add but this kinda stuck, lol
"rick, i am on old man now but i will tell you something, i have never seen a coffin with a safe in it. make sure your family is taken care of and enjoy life with the rest of it." this guy was a walking legend in the meat industry in his day. some of the sh!t he pulled back in the day would have you locked up today and they would throw away the key. he actually did end up there a couple of times serving weekends and paying restitution. lol which in the day was a mill or 2 at a crack. it was a game to those guys back then. they were always suing each other off and on for something that went over the line. lol
working with him was a bit of a life lesson of sorts, lol. i still chuckle at some of the stuff he pulled. nobody got hurt or lost an eye it was just the way these old rich guys played with each other.
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"if you are not the lead dog, the view is all the same"
