A guy is walking along the Strathmore Canal with his dog when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the water.
He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.
A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever."
"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."
"OK, then, I want to die after the Liberals balance the budget and eliminate the debt."
"You crafty little bastard," said the genie.