warning--don't be drinking coffee as you read this or you will be running for the paper towels---lmao
During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level.
He described a typical day this way:
“Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four leaks behind big trees.”
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!”
”No,” he replied, “I'm just a sh!tty golfer.”
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"if you are not the lead dog, the view is all the same"