Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Older, but maybe not better...


Foxboro On Rod-side Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 870
Date:
Older, but maybe not better...
Permalink  
 



Hospital regulations  require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he  didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
 
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

 
 
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 
'So I hear you're getting married?'
 
'Yep!'
 
'Do I know her?'
 
'Nope!'
 
'This woman, is she good looking?'
 
'Not really.'
 
'Is she a good cook?'
 
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
 
'Does she have lots of money?'
 
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
 
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
 
'I don't know.'
 
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
 

A man
was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
 
'Twelve thirty.'
 

Morris
, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. 
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
 
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
 
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
 


One more. . !
 
A little old man
shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
 
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

 
Now, before you 'forget ', send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh!!
 
 
 




__________________

"if you are not the lead dog, the view is all the same"



Kemptville Ont Carpenter/Renovations

Status: Offline
Posts: 582
Date:
Permalink  
 

These are great, thanks

__________________

Building my dream one piece at a time.

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.



Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard