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Just Timmy
(Preview)
The teacher asks Timmy “why did you bring your cat to school today?” Timmy says crying, “because I heard my dad say to mommy that he was going to eat that pussy after the kids leave for school”, so I am saving him. -- Edited by Falcon Futura on Saturday 22nd of April 2017 06:11:34 PM
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Falcon Futura
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ur evening smile
(Preview)
So, I was walking through Chicago and I saw that there was a “Muslim Book Store.” I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore, so I went in. As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn’t look like his normal clientele, so I asked...
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shag766
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3
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A Grin,....
(Preview)
I hate when the Doctor asks awkward questions. "Are you sexually active?" Depends on what you mean by "active". There are plenty of "active" volcanoes that haven't gone off in over 50 years.
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cheyenne
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354
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The Irish Blonde
(Preview)
Irish BlondeAn attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude" with that, she stripped from the neck down, r...
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shag766
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What came first the chicken or the rabbit?
(Preview)
I lmao when I saw this.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob_EqcIFQcM
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Falcon Futura
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344
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Tax dollars at work?
(Preview)
When NASA started sending astronauts into space they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, Congress approved a program and NASA scientists spent a decade and over $165 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on...
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Falcon Futura
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1
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322
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lord i hope not
(Preview)
The Smart Car newatlas.com/smart-body-kits-the-smorsche-smerrari-smorvette-and-smamborghini/10442/
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shag766
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13
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648
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smart old indian
(Preview)
Five Horses Is Her Name This is mythical and deep. Truly beautiful... A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She is called Five Horses". The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?" The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It means.....
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shag766
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your after lunch smile
(Preview)
-- Edited by shag766 on Sunday 2nd of April 2017 01:22:10 PM
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shag766
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Parking made easy.
(Preview)
We should all have one or two of these. This is ahh-maze-ing! Talk about ingenuity!…Watch to the very end!!!!!Tight Fitting Parking Space.mp4
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Falcon Futura
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372
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If my body were a car!
(Preview)
If My Body Were a Car!This is just so funny - scary how true it is!!! If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...But that's not the worst of it.My headlights are...
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Falcon Futura
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368
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Newfy Sausage
(Preview)
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Newfy sausage?" The shop assistant asks, "Are you from Newfoundland ?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something, “If I had asked for Italian sausage,...
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Falcon Futura
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165
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The Fifth Parrot
(Preview)
Three women, Jan, Sue and Mary, haven't seen each other since leaving school. They rediscover each other via Facebook and arrange to meet for lunch. Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Sue arrives shortly afterward, wearing a grey Chanel number....
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shag766
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572
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what were they thinking
(Preview)
LikeLikeLoveHahaWowSadAngry Comment
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Grumpy50
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Costco Doctor
(Preview)
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell y...
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shag766
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Cowboy rules for a happy life
(Preview)
A cowboys tombstone Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larson had inscribed on his headstone in Logan Utah. He died knowing that he would someday win the…“Coolest Headstone” contest…. FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE ...
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Falcon Futura
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Trouble At The Shoe Store.....
(Preview)
A woman comes home, and tells her husband she had trouble at the store. “I was trying on some new shoes, and the salesman looked up my skirt, right at my pussy, and said, “I’d like to fill that with ice cream and eat every drop of it.” She then demanded that her husband go right to the store and punch out...
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shag766
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Chevy Pickup
(Preview)
I stopped by the GM Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new Silverado pickup truck. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct. The salesman (a man wearing a "Trudeau for change" lapel pin) sat in the passenge...
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shag766
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Canada Revenue
(Preview)
Revenue Canada The Canadian Revenue Agency actually commented on this one! Something to ponder ... but, worth a broad smile! Amazing, but true, if you think about it! The importance of accuracy in your tax return. The CRA has returned the Tax Return to a man in Canada after he apparent...
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GMDad
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194
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The Church Lady
(Preview)
Subject: The Church Lady The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every week. One Sunday an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was. While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned...
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shag766
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Amish Sex Lesson
(Preview)
Amish Sex Lesson. Amish Sex Lesson. An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.’ The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.' The daughter did, and her hand...
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Grumpy50
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Dirty Old Men !
(Preview)
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Falcon Futura
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Could have been a Doctor
(Preview)
How I Nearly Became a doctorWhen I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor, so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School . One of the questions asked was to rearrange the letters "PNEIS" into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered "spine" are...
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Falcon Futura
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2
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168
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things to ponder on the Sabath
(Preview)
Subject: things to ponder on the SabathToday's Short Reading from the Bible From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth." Then He made the earth round... and He laughed and laughed and laughed!
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shag766
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New laws just passed
(Preview)
MARIJUANA AND MARRIAGE: Smile for the day! For those who haven't heard, Washington State recently passed two laws. They legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana. The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same da...
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Falcon Futura
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139
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The perfect marriage
(Preview)
THE PERFECT MARRIAGE For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great one liners from the man who was known for h...
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Falcon Futura
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6
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520
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again, just maybe
(Preview)
While golfing, I accidentally overturned my golf cart. A very attractive golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay?" “I'm okay thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart. She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you...
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shag766
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A California Love Story
(Preview)
A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex...She spends the next hour rubbing his testicles. This was something she loved to do. As he was enjoying it he turned and asked her "Why do love doing that ?" Because...she replied...I really miss mine.. Told you it was a Californi...
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GMDad
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220
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could happen
(Preview)
One morning a man comes into church on crutches. He stops In front of the Holy water and splashes some of it on both of his legs, then throws away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the episode and runs into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. Without batting an eye, the priest says,...
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shag766
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How to prove your Canadian.
(Preview)
A guy traveling through the USA on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the Canadian Customs Agent at the border. "May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent."I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet,...
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Janies dirty 37
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